Thursday, May 26, 2011

Hi, My Name is Joj. And I Suffer From Insomnia At The Worst Possible Times Ever.

So I drew a picture to show you my world right now.

That salmon-colored blob is supposed to represent the very handsome, very not-salmon-in-real-life PTR. I did a bad job at portraying his machismo. Perhaps Salmon was a bad choice, but it's too late to turn back. Anyway, he didn't get any sleep last night either, probably less than me and I only got around 2 hours. So I'm genuinely happy he's peacefully sleeping as of 1030. And making a weird bubbly snorey noise. It's ok. I'm happy for him. It's 1am, 2.5 hours later and I wish I could be so lucky.

Then there's the alarm clock. Which is set 7 minutes ahead. Prudent. Wise. An adult thing to do to ensure responsible timing. It might not seem like much, but when that alarm clock is judging you as midnight creeps towards you - those 7 minutes are a critical threat. This is the reason I haven't owned a real alarm clock in about 7 years. (Hooray iPhone!)

See those blue music note things? They're meant to represent the incessant waves of car stereos from the intersection outside of our house - usually playing something like this (wait for the chorus), or this (make sure you experience the horns AND the beat). [Not to be confused with the Static-y radio program (Wendy Williams?) our neighbor leaves on, very loud, with much bass, overnight, when she's not at home (RE: last night and why we got no sleep).
I'd make those kind of music notes 10x bigger - and orange - and on fire.]

Next up - those blue dots on the sheets on the mattress-foreground. That's because I was too tired to cook. And we both stood in the kitchen and looked around at things. For maybe a solid and silent 45-90 seconds. Silently opening cabinet doors, shifting around to open others. And declared that the turkey should likely go in the freezer if we're not making it tonight. And then it happened: PTR boldly declared "Let's just order delivery Crab Rangoon and get it over with." MY MAN! Too bad I was too tired that it fell out of my bowl and oil stained the sheets. ...Yes, I eat in bed sometimes. Spare me the lecture of how I'm nose-diving towards being one of those obese people who have to use a rag on a stick to bathe. I'm tired; therefore I eat like the Romans - lounge style. ....without the vom.

See that hall light? The blazing beacon of bathroom stumble guidance? I cant sleep in the dark unless there's at least natural light - like the moon (I think. I've never slept under the moon... and opening the curtains here would only saturate me with more "Gasolina".). Anyway, it's not for fear of the dark - just for paranoia - that I cant find my water glass, or god forbid my phone at 3:30 am when I need to do a goog. I'm a control freak. But a 100w bulb is way beyond my comfort level. it's threatening. And if I turn away? That damn alarm clock is back to taunting me.

The last thing that i notice during my insomnia bouts is the open closet door. I cant go into detail, but does anyone else have a major OCD hang-up (no pun intended) with open doors? Because I do. And right now it's all I can think about.

I think it might be Nyquil time.