We Totally Found A Dead Person

So, many of you may have read on Facebook about how we FOUND A DEAD PERSON IN THE DESERT.

Let me give you a little back story:

This past weekend was my 29th birthday. Fred and I booked a trip to Las Vegas, with a list of things to do. One of which was to just go SEE the desert, and look around. I'd never seen a tumbleweed. I had no idea what United States of America desert included. Honestly, I'll admit: I expected camels. You heard me.

Much to my delight, Sarah & Gina (Super 2006 Elvis Road Trip Bestie, and her rockin' coworker, respectively) decided to join us in Vegas (From SLC, Utah) for the majority of out time there, and CONVENIENTLY were able to bring a metal detector from their place of employment for use in Nevada desert exploration.

So, two days before the end of our vacay, we decide to take a drive out at dusk and find a place to pull off the side of the road and wander just far enough in that it feels rugged, yet still be able to see the car - as I am a nervous nelly, and I have seen freaking Casino. I know there are mobsters in the dunes, I just know it. With the camels of course.

So, I'll tell the rest of the story with photos. Please enjoy.

Oh wait, before I start... Sarah & Gina brought a real live (dead) TUMBLEWEED as a b-day present. Check THIS out:

Alright, now we can go on...

First few shots of the "desert", looking for the perfect spot:

This is getting closer to what I was hoping for:

PERFECT! This place is delightfully desolate, has a pull off area, and even has lots of vantage points to find our way back to the car!:

I even made it over the minor dune in flip flops in an ACE Bandage. How could this go wrong?

Sarah tested out the metal detector before we set off on our trek. It worked:

Then I found some broken beer bottles.

And some creepy bones. Whatever could kill something with vertebrae this large could certainly take out a short, disabled east coast girl with an anxiety disorder. I'll admit at this point the sun was going down and I was starting to get a little spooked.

But THEN I heard that crackly beepy noise that you only hear on PBS treasure hunter specials. I turn to find Sarah swiftly on the scent:

Being the man, Fred offers to do the manual labor (and I'm sure lay claim to whatever goldmine we later uncover?):

Then I saw a trashbag begin to emerge:

And THEN I see what looks like a head?

Fred bashed with the shovel a bit more, as I screamed as HUMAN HAIR emerged:

From here, only a video can narrate. Please take special note of my nervous eye, and me falling as I try to run away (Scroll down after watching to see the aftermath):

Sorry for all the cussin'.

I am no longer an elvis fan, because this is what was inside:

And here you will see that I am still beyond terrified. But Sarah and Gina get credit for being the biggest assholes and best pranksters of all time. I am so happy to be alive.

And this is how we left him. If you want to go try it out for yourself, look for Snookified Elvis, he still has batteries: