Very High Colonic?

Kate and I pretty much have a lunchtime ritual at this point. It usually consists of getting in my car, putting the top down, and driving the longest route possible to end up at Genuardi's ("Nards") to ravish their amazing salad bar. Sometimes on the way back to the office, we'll hit the park and eat. Other days, like today, we take the remainder of our lunch break and tool around TJ Maxx or a random craft store.

Today was TJ Maxx and Ritz Camera, but before Nard's. Totally switching up the program.

I've been kind of obsessed with smelling good this summer so naturally once we arrived at TJ Maxx, I was distracted by the kiosk of slightly opened fragrances (that are in all honesty a pretty good deal compared to department store prices). Kate was drawn to the neighboring shelves of gourmet soaps, lotions, and bath products.

I was checking out and falling in love with an unused bottle of "Versace: Red Jeans" when Kate turned to me and said "Oh man, I love this stuff, my mom always uses these!". She held up what looked like a mini bottle of scented hand sanitizer. You know, like the kind at Bath & Body Works? She extended it toward my face to smell. I lean in as she applies a slight pressure, expecting a teeny puff of air to waft gently into my waiting olfactory system.

No such luck.

Instead of gentle air, the bottle must've had a rogue air pocket and I got a right nostril full of -not hand sanitizer- but citrus and basil hand soap. In the middle of TJ Maxx. To be fair, a little dripped onto my chin too.

Of course my first reaction was to laugh like a maniac - because it WAS hilarious, unintentional and perfect. What comes before laughter, though, my friends? Inhalation. Massive and uncontrollable inward breathing.

So now I have citrus basil handsoap dripping down the back of my throat.

30 minutes later, we're salad clad and arriving back to the office. I get here and walk briskly to the bathroom with a handful of industrial papertowels and pray for the auto faucets to allow me to referse snot rocket with their touchy sensors to flush out my head.

No such luck.

Now, it's 2-hours later. It burns. It smells like citrus and basil everywhere I go. And I didnt get new perfume because I couldnt smell it.

[To be fair to Kate, I couldn't afford it either :) ]