A Blog Response to Was's Blog

Recently, my friend Was posted an opinion-poll type blog. The question posed was:

"Yea or neigh?

I've found that lot's of people will get irate if you poop at their house. So what i'm trying to figure out is whether or not i'm being rude if I shit at somone's house, or if these people are rude for being mad.

I can see both sides of the story."

My response below is something that I decided to post here as well, because I think it'll be useful to those of you who are fellow 'Foriegn Toilet Phobia' (FTP) sufferers. I used to be one myself, and still practice the exercises which allows me to be "Free to Flush", as we say.

"The trick to pooping at someones house, pooping at work, or pooping anywhere besides your own domicile, is: Wait until you have to go so bad that its knocking at the door. Dogs are barking, and there's a turtle coming out of it's shell. Drink coffee if available to enhance effect.

Next, announce that you have to pee. Go, sit, you do your thing, and you do it quick. As soon as it kisses the water, you flush. This minimizes the smell and the chance that you will get caught. The flush will last long enough for you to finish evacuating your bowels - and maybe get in one good wipe, and the water take the evidence with it. If more than one wipe is required, do it. And then make a spectacle about "blowing your nose" and flush the remainder of your "used nose tissues".

If you're worried about "signing the bowl", or "skid marks", I find that applying a layer of TP to the top of the water before you begin will act as a barrier betwixt your poo and the porcelain - thus, eliminating worry. "

I suggest you practice at home to get this down to a science before debuting at work, friends houses, or movie theatres. Good luck.